Unwanted Child of Desire
by RENTaholic
Summary: RENT fanfic about how 15-year-old Mimi gets pregnant with Benny's baby, becomes a stripper, and gets addicted to drugs...


**Authors Note**:   
  
This has been the ULTIMATE fan fiction for me to write, and it has truly been a labor of love. Very few people know about the torment I went through writing this story! LOL those who know me can tell you that I have spent many sleepless nights and many moments of temporary insanity over writing this story ever since the day I walked out of my bathroom and was struck with the idea for this fan fic. This tale is a direct result of that fateful visit to the bathroom! I would also like to thank my various friends who helped shape my story with your support and input. You know who you are! =)   
(And in case you don't know who you are, I'm talking about Amanda A., Roxy, Rhea, Tara, and anyone else I forgot. I love you guys!!! MWAH!)   
Who knows, I might even become a published writer after being on Broadway! I would also like to thank the gifted, amazing, and brilliant Jonathan Larson, whom I feel guided me in my writing. Also, if your reading this, make sure you write a review of the story! I want major feedback! =) But enough of my random babbling, now on with the fic! hehe  
  
15-year-old Mimi Marquez took a deep breath and shakily told her mother the news she had been hiding all week. "Mama, I'm pregnant." She finally blurted out, carefully measuring each word as they fell from her reluctant lips. Mimi sat down on the couch heavily, closed her big brown eyes and fearfully waited for her mother's reaction.   
  
She heard her mother sigh and say in a tired, disappointed voice, "Mimi, chica, how could you?" Mimi could feel the tears welling up beneath her eyelids, and she desperately squeezed her eyes shut tighter to keep the tears from flowing freely. "Open your eyes and look at me, chica." Her mother commanded in a softer tone as she sat down and ran her fingers through her daughter's thick, curly brown hair. Mimi did as she was told, but as soon as she saw the look of deep disappointment in her mother's eyes, the floodgates burst open and her tears began to flow. Mimi sat there sobbing until she felt her mother's loving arms around her as a million thoughts swirled through her muddled mind.   
  
Mimi knew that she couldn't tell her parents the part that would make them feel even more disappointed and embarrassed. Mimi's boyfriend and the father of the baby, Benjamin Coffin the Third, had been married to Alison Grey of the West Port Greys for six months now. Mimi's parents didn't know she had been secretly seeing Benny, and she couldn't bring herself to tell her mother that she was carrying the child of a married man. Benny always told Mimi that he and Alison had more of a business relationship than a true  
marriage, and that he only married Alison to gain a prominent position in her father's company, Grey Communications. Benny claimed he didn't really love Alison, and he was sure she felt the same way about him. He always told Mimi that it was her he really loved, that he couldn't live without her.   
  
He made her promise after promise and filled her heads with dreams and illusions, making her feel like a princess. Benny kept promising her they would be together one day and would tell her about the wonderful life they would have.  
At the same time, he was also putting pressure on her to have sex with him. Mimi wasn't sure she wanted to do that, but Benny continued seducing her until about two months ago, when Mimi finally relented and agreed to sleep with him. Unfortunately she hadn't seen him much in the past few days, until one day last week when she called him and said she had some news they needed to discuss. An hour later, they met at Benny's house while Alison was away.   
  
"I'm pregnant," Mimi told him as soon as he opened the door. Benny looked at her with fear and amazement in his deep brown eyes. "What?" he asked in a shocked voice. Mimi could only sit down on the couch and look down. They had always used condoms whenever they made love, which was about two or three times a week, but obviously the condoms hadn't worked very well.   
  
"Oh, shit!" she heard Benny mutter angrily under his breath. "Well, now what are we supposed to do?" Benny asked sharply, heavily sitting down next to her.   
  
Mimi just shrugged. She had no idea what to do. Benny sighed in exasperation. "Well, what about an abortion?"   
  
Mimi jerked her head up suddenly and looked at Benny sharply. "No! That's terrible, I could never have an abortion!"   
  
Benny gently took Mimi's hand in both of his, looked her in the eye and said in a softer voice, "Baby, I'm married. We can't have a baby, we just can't." Mimi looked down at the floor again.   
  
"I know," Mimi whispered, her voice thick with emotion.   
  
Benny sighed again and said, "Well,what about giving the baby up for adoption? That's really our only choice."  
  
Mimi looked up at him with tears in her eyes. "Yeah, I guess so."   
  
Benny let go of Mimi's hand and quickly said, "Listen, maybe it would be best if we didn't see each other for a while. I mean, we can't be seen together while you're pregnant or people will begin to talk. It isn't even a good idea for you to be here right now."   
  
Mimi looked stunned. "But Benny, II thought we could -"  
  
"No!" Benny cut her off sharply. "Look, we both have lots of stuff to deal with right now, so let's just take a break."   
  
And with that Benny stood up and opened the door for Mimi. Crestfallen, she got up slowly and walked dazed-like out of the house. She couldn't believe that he could be so cold and cruel, not caring about her or their baby. Where was the Benny she had fallen in love with? She felt stupid, naïve, and abandoned by the world as the door slammed shut angrily behind her and she slowly walked away.   
  
It was getting late and darkness was falling fast. The full moon was glowing brightly and the stars were starting to come out one by one, gleaming just like special little diamonds in the beautiful black velvet sky. Mimi sighed deeply, feeling angry at the world. It seemed like a cruel, ironic joke that it was such a perfect night while her entire world was unraveling.  
  
She decided to take a short cut through a dark, littered alley on Avenue B when she was suddenly stopped by a stranger. Mimi gasped in fright, but the man just grinned at her. "Hey, cutie pie, you look sad. Here's a little something to cheer you up."   
  
And with that he slipped Mimi a needle and a bag with white powder. It was heroin, or "smack' as it was commonly known. Before Mimi could react, the man was gone. She quickly stuffed the stash in her pocket and continued walking. That was the beginning of her drug addiction.  
  
Mimi suddenly snapped out of her morbid thoughts and realized she was still in her home, cradled in her mother's arms. Just then, the front door opened and Mimi's father walked in. She looked up, frightened. With a tear-streaked face, she ran into his arms. He looked down at her, concerned.  
  
"Mimi, chica, what's wrong?" he asked softly, holding her close. Mimi couldn't bear to look in her father's eyes and tell him the truth. All she could do was turn from his loving embrace and run into her room. She flung herself on her bed and sobbed for what seemed like hours but was really only a few minutes. Before long, Mimi could feel her father's eyes watching her from the doorway, and she sat up to face him. She hoped to find comfort and understanding in his usually warm brown eyes, but instead she saw cold anger, and that look frightened her more than anything he could have said to her. He  
stared at her for a minute with his icy gaze until finally he said in a cold, indifferent voice full of controlled fury, "Get out of my house."   
  
Mimi was so hurt and stunned, she could only say in a weak voice, "What- what do you mean?"   
  
Impatient and angry, her father replied, "I want you to pack your things and leave this house. You are an embarrassment to this family, and I am ashamed to call you my daughter."   
  
Almost as if in a deep trance, Mimi got up and began packing some things while her father watched silently. She couldn't cry anymore; she was fresh out of tears. When she had packed as much as she could carry, she walked out of her room in a daze. Mimi could hear her mother sobbing in the kitchen, and she paused only long enough to kiss her on the cheek without saying a word. Then she opened the door and left what had once  
been her home for good.   
  
Mimi wandered around in the dark for a while before finding herself once again on Avenue B, where a small group of junkies were shooting up drugs. After a minute Mimi also recognized the same mysterious man that had given her drugs the week before.   
  
"Hey, cutie pie." He smirked when he saw her. "I had a feeling I'd see you again." Mimi managed a weak smile, but she knew her face was still stained by her many tears. The man continued; "Let me guess: you got in some sort of trouble, your parents kicked you out of the house, and now you need a job and a place to live."   
  
Mimi could only stare into his steel blue eyes in disbelief. "How did you -" the man just smiled, running his fingers through his sandy blonde hair.   
  
"Hey, it happens all the time." He suddenly began looking her over, taking in her soulful brown eyes, her wild, unkempt curly dark hair, and her curvy, sexy figure. "Say, cutie pie, how old are you anyway?"   
  
"I'm. I'm 18," Mimi lied.   
  
"Well, if you're interested, there's this place called The Cat Scratch Club, and they've been looking for new entertainment. I bet with a little work, you'd be great."   
  
Mimi sighed. She couldn't believe this is what her life had been reduced to. But what  
other options did she have? "Well, I do need money...I guess it's worth a shot."   
  
The man smiled. Despite his dirty, ragged appearance, it was a warm, friendly smile. "Ok, we'll go there tomorrow. You can crash at my place till you earn enough money. Right now, why don't you join us and take a little something to help you relax?" and with that he handed Mimi some more powder, which she gratefully took and soon she forgot all about her many problems. It was a wonderful feeling, not having to feel anything at all.   
  
The next day, the man did as me promised and took Mimi down to the Cat Scratch Club. The owner loved her and decided it would be worth it to give Mimi a chance, and before long, she became one of the most popular dancers at the club. She never told anyone about her pregnancy. Over the course of the next several months, her stomach didn't grow very much and nobody could tell she was pregnant. She continued dancing nightly and got high off of heroin about once a month, not thinking or caring about what the drugs would do to her unborn child. Mimi told herself that it would be better if the baby  
didn't survive after all, but deep down she already felt love for her baby, and that's what scared her more than anything else that had happened to her so far.  
  
Before too long, Mimi had enough money to rent a small, cheap apartment in a bad neighborhood near her work. As she took more and more drugs, Mimi began to feel more detached from the world. It seemed as her pregnancy progressed, she began to feel more ill as well. But in spite of her poor health, Mimi continued dancing until one late Saturday night in June, walking home from the club, when she was suddenly struck with unbelievably intense labor pains. It was after 3 a.m., and she realized that there was no one around to help her. Gasping, unable to walk any further, Mimi knew she was about to give birth right there in the dark alley, nearly two months premature. Laying down on a dirty, old, conveniently abandoned mattress, she began pushing, the tears streaming down her red, sweating face. Mimi had never been more terrified in her life. She was positive she was going to die, right then and there. All alone and very frightened, she couldn't helpwishing Benny were there with her right now. She had no idea what she was  
doing, so she breathed and pushed until a little over an hour later, just before the sun began to rise, when Mimi felt her child slip into the world and let out its first loud, beautiful wail.   
  
Panting, she reached down and held her little daughter for the first time. Mimi was trembling, she had never held something so small and precious. Though it was dark, she was able to gaze at her baby girl by the still-lit street lamps. Mimi had to hold her breath as soon as she saw the baby clearly. Right there in her very arms was the most beautiful creature she had ever seen in her life. The child was a tiny thing, with perfect mahogany  
skin, a tiny button nose, a full head of dark, damp, curly hair so very much like Mimi's own hair, and big, innocent eyes so dark and deep, Mimi seemed to get lost in them for all eternity.   
  
They were Benny's eyes, the very same eyes that first made Mimi fall so helplessly in love with him. It broke her heart to see such a strong resemblance to Benny in the baby. Yet, Mimi was in amazement of this tiny creature, and she could feel herself falling in love  
with the child immediately. She now understood the meaning of unconditional love, that incredibly special feeling that a person can only truly know by holding ones baby for the first time. Still connected to the baby via the umbilical cord, Mimi cradled her daughter and wept bitterly until she realized she now had to go do the most difficult thing she would ever have to do in her entire life. She had to give up her precious baby.   
  
TO BE CONTINUED!!!!!


End file.
